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I was the one who adamantly declared that I would never marry out.
Not because my parents were against it; they didn’t need to tell me because my traditional Jewish upbringing and day-school education were my safeguards.
He is very caring, genuine and has taught me a lot. We just started seeing each other, so it is too early to say, but I do feel that my life is hanging in the balance because one day he will make a decision. I get the impression that it is a lot harder for Jewish people to date today than it was years ago.
Technology, social media and dating sites has made it possible for us to only want nothing but the best.
But don’t expect us to be anything other than civil. For the first time ever, I had stumped my brilliant lawyer father. If it’s so hard for you to end it now, think how difficult it will be later, since there will be a time when it will end, according to you. Jewish day school, Jewish friends, a traditional Jewish home. For the first time in my life, I consciously thought about, and decided, who I was, what I wanted to be, and what was truly important. I never saw or spoke to him again, although I cried for days.
It’s just too hard.” I wanted so much to honor my parents. Seeking Legal Counsel The next day I found myself in the car with my father. There we sat for a good few minutes, lost in our separate worlds. ” “Because it’s important that we preserve our unique heritage.” he replied, surprised by this basic question coming from me. “Yes, but what’s so special about our heritage, I mean, why is it SO important that there be Jews in the world? “Because we are supposed to be a light among the nations,” he stressed, wondering where this was going. “So, Dad, if our heritage is so special, and we have to be a light among the nations, and my entire future depends on it, why do I eat Mc Donalds, and why on earth don't we keep Shabbat?! Why would an intelligent girl do that to herself, or worse, to the person she says she cares about?! My heart was heavy with respect for my parents and the desire to please them. Why had it been so fundamentally clear to me that I would marry a Jew? There had been no challenge, no threat, no temptation. But now my exclusive Jewish education and traditional upbringing was on trial. I don’t really know why, but I think it had something to do with my soul. If we want the Jewish People to survive, we need to care about all these things, more than we care about ourselves. All the private Jewish day schooling, extra-curricular activities, tutoring, youth groups, social events, community get-togethers, online newsletters, dating clubs and support groups have a gargantuan uphill battle and built-in disadvantage when faced with the masses of Jews that grow up in homes void of any practical Jewish expression.
Our homes are where we nurture, and where our children learn to care. If you ask anyone that grew up with it, they will tell you the same thing: it’s the simple rituals that have the greatest impact.
Of our four children, we have three Jewish in-laws and one Chinese, a lovely young woman. Many non Jews would make lovely spouses for Jews who don't care about Judaism.
I was so connected to my Jewish identity that my betrayal of it was not even statistically probable. I stopped socializing with them in silent protest, after a more outspoken effort had failed.
I self-righteously concluded that we had nothing in common, since they were prepared to give their Jewish identity the backseat.
It was an inspiring night full of memories and promise for the future. And, if that wasn’t enough for my ego, he was a commercial pilot. Related Article: Chicken Soup with Chopsticks A Night to Remember We set a date to meet. The Fifth Commandment The confession took place at a restaurant.
As we gathered round looking at photos, I pretended not to notice the attractive guy sitting next to me. I convinced myself it would be a completely harmless evening that would chalk up a point for my flirting skills. We revved up the night with a ride on his motorbike. I simply let my parents know that I was dating a non-Jew, but not to worry.