Remember that this feeling is temporary, as the hormones fade back to normal levels, that initial rush will fade too. Enjoy the rush when it happens, but maintain enough distance that your rational brain has time to communicate its thoughts to you as well. Be open and willing to investigate these new alternatives.It’s fine (actually, wonderful) to get caught up in a moment, but don’t let that moment turn into a marriage that you do not intend. But keep some distance so that you can check with yourself to make sure that you do not deviate too far from the true you.Two: Your “Must Not Haves” This list compliments the one above and, in fact, you may find that it is generated at the same time. Even the ambiguous will have meaning to you as you meet people.Like with your “must haves,” you may find that some of these are rather concrete and others are vague and hard to define. Two of my items on the “must not have” list were 1) cannot be dishonest (uhmm..great. ) and 2) cannot have kids or want kids (I have pretty strong feelings on this one and it’s not fair to start a relationship with someone who does not match me here). Just let that thought go like a helium balloon in the wind. Not every date you go one will be good, but every date you go one will teach you something.
As you list your “must haves,” try not to censor them; your subconscious may know more about what you need than your rational mind does at this point.
Keep some distance so that you can make informed decisions about your future. When I first joined Match.com, I went out on dates with men that didn’t jive at all with what I thought I liked.
♦◊♦ Seven: Be Open I know what you’re thinking: “First she cautions me to keep some distance and now she wants me to be open? I found myself consistently surprised as I found characteristics and attributes attractive that were not on my radar before.
You may feel that the true you is unlovable and seek to change your identity.
It can be so tempting to expand yourself like a pressurized gas let out of a sealed container.