Buddhism and dating
Will I lock eyes with him at the library while I’m researching just how relationships actually work? I see you’re clutching every book on love ever written.
I find that super intriguing, want to go get a drink? After a while, it’s easy to feel like starting your collection of cats and totally giving up on the idea of ever meeting the right person.
“I am flawed.” “If I spill my guts to someone else, they will run.” “I can’t be vulnerable.” “I’m not enough.” “I’m going to die alone.” “If I commit I will be trapped.” And on and on. When you hear yourself repeating any of these negative statements, say, “stop” and replace the thought with a positive affirmation.
I like to use “I am whole, I am love,” but use a positive statement about your worth that resonates with you.
It helped me to repeat, “I am whole, I am love” before and after dates, to get the idea across strongly that the outcome of this one event was not a determinate of my lovability or worth.
I could let myself off the hook and let the dating experiences just be what they were instead of tying my ego to them.
When I stopped hanging so much of my feelings on these experiences, I started meeting completely different people than ever before.
No wonder I felt horrible and had lots of go-nowhere relationships. Then, just like the lifespan of my favorite bras, the support system failed and the underwire started digging in.
When this happened I felt horrible, and went out looking for my next fix.